How To Be Confident in 12 steps – Part 1

Credits to Moyan_Brenn for the wonderful photo found on Flickr

Credits to Moyan_Brenn for the wonderful photo found on Flickr

Step 1:

Be happy.

Happiness, like confidence, is a choice. So choose to be happy. By waking up in

the morning and choosing to be happy, you will improve your outlook on life and

therefore your willingness to take ‘risks’. That is the definition of confidence.

(And by the way, risk is subjective. What one person may think of as crazy

stupid, another will think of as a walk in the park.)

Step 2:

Speak clearly.

Ummm… Errr… Aaah… These are not the words of a confident person. Speak

with conviction, speak with clarity (both of speech and of thought), speak with


Step 3:

Fall in love with silence.

In order to achieve clarity of thought (see step 2), it is absolutely acceptable to

pause after someone else has spoken while you think of your reply. It is in fact

much better to think of your reply after they have spoken, than during. Not only

is it more polite, but it also allows you to actually listen to what they are saying.

Confidence is about reducing perceived risk and knowledge is the perfect tool to

do this. Knowledge can be accrued by listening to others. So stop talking and

start listening (in silence – especially in your mind).

Step 4:

Accept the opinion of others.

Once you have learned to listen to the person talking with you, learn to accept

their point of view. Developing confidence is about reducing risk, so once you do

not perceive any risk in the other person having a different viewpoint than

yours, the risk is gone and you can be confident. Everyone has different

experiences, different upbringings, different beliefs, so everyone thinks

differently about things. Once you fully grasp that fact, you understand that

knowledge gives confidence and that learning from others is knowledge, but

trying to impose your point of view, belief or way of thinking on someone

reflects a lack of confidence.

More next week, but in the meantime, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn,

like my Facebook page, or comment below!


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