Confidence

Is Confidence Important?

Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic wrote a book called Confidence about the fact confidence is “at best just a mask for our insecurities; at worst it’s a dangerous self-delusion.”

I disagree. I think confidence is vital. So do the many people I have asked.

Photo by Lee (on Flickr)

Photo by Lee (on Flickr)

But what do you think? Here are 3 questions I am currently using to ascertain the role of confidence in people’s lives and how they gained that confidence (or what they would do if they had it).

Remember that everyone is confident in certain areas and everyone has fear. Moving outside your comfort zone and doing something you are not comfortable doing is what takes confidence. With that in mind, I am interested in reading your answers to the following questions:

1) Which role does confidence play in your life (why is it important)?

2a) In the areas you are confident, how did you develop it, what were the main factors involved in developing it?

2b) In the areas you are not confident, what would you do differently if you had it?

3) How do you notice that someone (else) is confident?

N.B. The information in the answers I receive will only be used as an anonymous statistic. It will not be published, posted or otherwise made public in a form which could be traced back to you apart from the fact it appears on the comments below.

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4 thoughts on “Is Confidence Important?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hello Kanuka,
    1) There is little in my life that does not need some confidence. Guiding my children, acting as President of the Association, standing in front of a few hundred people down to making decisions about a car to buy. In all aspects I have to be confident in my actions and decisions while the difficulty of decision does make a difference. Perhaps the one area I do not feel I need confidence is in my relationship with my wife – because I have such confidence in her I have no need of it any more. That is trust earned by both over years.
    2) I lacked confidence for many years growing up as a fat kid that tried to hard. It is surprisingly recent times that have seen me become more confident. As I have aged I have become less caring of others attitudes towards me and actively sort out evidence of what I have acheived for others – and that is how I measure my success and worth in life.
    There are still areas that I lack confidence in and i gain support from others and do more homework until I can make a decisions. For me the secret is then to accept and live with it.
    3) Their bearing, manner and actions.

    Like

    • Hi and thanks for the honest answer. I have often heard that people feel more confident as they get older. It would seem that experience leads us to realising two things:
      1) We can do more than we originally think
      2) Other people don’t think (or care) about us nearly as much as we think.

      Like

  2. Hi Kanuka, my answers to your questions:

    1. Confidence is important in my role as a writer – it allows me to relax and let the writing flow.
    2. I developed confidence by doing – the more success you have the more confident you become.
    3. I think a confident person doesn’t talk themselves up or down.

    Do you agree?

    Like

    • Hi WordWorks and thank you for taking the time to answer.

      Yes, I agree. Especially the last point. I think people who talk themselves up lack confidence just as much as those who talk themselves down.

      Also, as Susan Jeffers wrote in her book, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway”, doing something outside your comfort zone and noticing you succeed leads to an expansion of your comfort zone. Which is a technical way of saying exactly what you say in point 2.

      Like

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