The 3 most common fears – 2/3

What is it that holds you back from doing what you want?

The answers I keep getting to that question can usually be traced back to 3 common fears which stop people from being confident. However, knowing what the fears are is only a small part of the problem. The much bigger part is learning what one can do to gain control of them. Fears are good, but only as long as they UNDER control, not IN control. This is the second of 3 posts in which I am examining the 3 most common blocks to being confident, along with in each case one way to gain control of them:

2) Fear of Failure


Photo from Flikr by Alecia

This morning my 6 year old son tried emptying the dishwasher and broke a very nice glass. I asked him what he had learned from that. He replied, “that I should not empty the dishwasher.” Is that the right way to deal with failure? Something doesn’t go quite the way we had imagined, so we learn not to try? Who has ever had any success with that way of thinking? But I am probably preaching to the converted. We all know that we need to pick ourselves up after a failure and try again. We do it when we fall off a bike, or get scratched by a cat, so why not when the potential client refuses to buy what I’m selling?

Although each person has to find their own answer to that question, here is one way to not freeze when you next find yourself in that situation (let’s use the dishwasher example): Confront your fears. Fear only exists in our thoughts of the future. We only fear things that do not and may not ever exist. If you recognise the danger as real (glasses can break), know what the risk is (me dropping a glass), quantify that danger (they are slippery when they come out of the dishwasher, so can be dropped much easier than usual) and take the correct steps to minimise the risk involved (use two hands, pay special attention), you can get your fear in control and get that dishwasher emptied!

So next time you feel you don’t want to do something because you are scared it might fail, confront that fear: quantify the risks, reduce them then DO IT ANYWAY!



What would you do differently if you had more confidence?

As a Keynote speaker, trainer and coach, Kanuka helps people increase their confidence, thus increasing not only their bottom line, but also their quality of life, what they get out of relationships and how they feel about themselves.


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