The 3 most common fears – 1/3

What is it that holds you back from doing what you want?

The answer I keep getting to that question can usually be traced back to 3 common fears which stop people from being confident. However, knowing what the fears are is only a small part of the problem. The much bigger part is learning what one can do to gain control of them. Fears are good, but only as long as they UNDER control, not IN control. In this and 2 further posts, I shall go into the 3 most common blocks to being confident, along with in each case one way to gain control of them:

1) Fear of Ridicule

Have you ever hear that voice inside your head which says, “If I do that, people will laugh at me!”? Have you ever shied back from doing something because you thought, “What will people THINK?” That is the fear of ridicule rearing its ugly head. That voice inside of us that dictates what we do and do not do, based on what OTHERS will think, say or imply.

So how can you gain control of these thoughts, so that you can decide to do it, irrespective of what others will think or say? One way is to be a skunk.

I have a pack of American Indian totem cards which have various animals depicted on them. Every now and then, I choose a card and read what the meaning of that particular card is. That gives me my message for the day. Or week. Well, one day I pulled the Skunk card. I tried thinking about what the message could be. Maybe it meant that I didn’t shower enough. Or that my hair was about to go grey in streaks…

Skunks are known for their stench. They repel any and every animal that comes near them, especially when these intend harm. There is, however, one animal which is not repelled by the smell and is in fact attracted by it: other skunks – the mates and friends who are helpful to his well-being.

And that was the message of the skunk: Be yourself and those you do not need or intend to harm you will be repelled, pushed away, while those who are attracted to you will be good for you. In the words of Dr. Seuss:

Be who you are

So if you have ever felt that the fear of ridicule is in your way, just remember the skunk and remember to be yourself. Do what pleases you. And if you don’t want to shower, don’t! There must be at least one person out there who likes someone who stinks… Hopefully…


What would you do differently if you had more confidence?


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